3/13/13 - Broken

Our morning started of a little too adventurous for my taste. You were climbing EVERYTHING! I take off your pjs andd turn around to see the you climbing the entertainment-center-turned-book-shelf in your room. Next thing I know you are kneeling (see below) and I'm sure it would only take seconds for your to stand or turn and jump off. So when our neighbor Jessica mentioned a rendevou at the park, we were ALL over it. 

We arrived at the park a little after 11, late as usual. I gave my self a pep talk on the way to the park that I was going to let Henry be a big brave boy. He wants to climb the stairs of the playset, crawl in the woodchips, etc. and I have a hard time letting him do these kids things for fear of injury. First child huh? Well we get to the park and Henry immediately starts climbing the playset, crossing the draw bridge, etc. I notice that the rungs on the stairs are a little big, and flash backs to this day come to my mind so I joined Henry on the play set. After climbing to the highest tower, Henry went straight for the slide and looked like he was going to go straight down ALONE. My pep talk did not cover HUGE slides unattended so I told Henry he was too little to go alone and could ride down with me. Then our life changed FOREVER (maybe a little to dramatic?). My friend Jessica was at the bottom of the slide in case I momed-up and let Henry go alone. So she is my witness! I put Henry on my lap and we went down the big slide, when we got to the bottom Henry wouldn't stop crying. Jessica and I were both surprised and wondered if maybe he was just scared. Well I was worried about him being a little bit cold since it was super windy so I took my crying child to the car to get his coat. While putting on Henry's coat I noticed his left shoe was a little bit off his foot and started to wonder if maybe he sprained his ankle while going down the slide. Henry wouldn't stop crying. More friends joined us at the park and were surprised by Henry's crying and thought he was silly. I was getting worried since he was clinging to me for dear life. Of course I did not bring a paci to the park! So Jessica gave me Evelyn's pink paci. Henry would take it for a little bit then spit it out, maybe because it was pink? I tried nursing him in the car, sippy cup of milk, singing, Everything I could think of and nothing was working. Finally I decided to call the pediatrician at 11:37 because something had to be wrong after 30 minutes of crying. Appointment set for 2 hours from now. So rather than having Henry cry and scream I took him home to cry and scream in private.

2 hours never passed so SLOWLY. I gave Henry his paci, layed next to him on the bed and examined his ankle. Nothing seemed to be the matter, just every time I touched his left foot/leg he would flinch. Finally Henry cried himself to sleep and fell asleep next to me for about 30 minutes. I talked with my mom, Shannon, and neighbors/friends while he napped and no one could imagine what was wrong. Henry woke with a start because I sneezed and the crying started all over again. I called all the older men in our neighborhood who are normally home during the day and none of them answered. I cried and prayed. Jessica came to the rescue again when she stopped by on her way home from the park. Since Henry wanted to nurse, but I retired my nursing bra, I was not very modestly dressed but let her in anyways. She could tell I had been bawling/losing my mind and gave me the most comforting hug. Then she had insipration! Brother Haws, the stake patriarch and our neighbor, was probably home. So while she called the Haws, I got redressed and we waited for them to walk over. Brother Haws arrived, examined Henry's ankle and agreed that nothing was wrong and he was probably just spooked from the huge ride. He gave Henry a blessing of comfort. Well tried to at least, Henry screamed louder and tried ripping Brother Haws hands off his head the entire time. So I have no idea what was said but we all felt better afterwards. The Haws left and we hoped in the car and went to the pediatricians office.

What it is about the peds office that miraculously heals children? Henry didn't cry one time once we sat down in the princess room until the x-ray. BTW why would you take a boy in a blue shirt to the princess room when the car room next door was open? Our normal pediatrician was out of town so we saw a new guy with awesome curly hair named Zak Zarbok. Henry did not want the doc touching him as usual. So Dr. Zarbok instructed me on how to feel Henry's leg to figure out if there was problem with his upper or lower leg. Everytime I touched Henry's lower leg he flinched. Dr. Zarbok informed me that kids break their legs quite easily on slides because their rubber shoes stick to the wall of the slide. And his own son broke his leg doing the same thing last summer. I was thinking "there is no way Henry broke his leg on the slide." Well see the x-ray for yourself:

Broken tibia. Henry got some car stickers for being "brave" and a monkey rubber ducky. His leg was put in a splint for 48 hours to wait for the swelling to go down. And we were sent home to cry some more. On the way home I stopped at Jessica's to tell her the crazy news. She lent me some children's ibprophen since I was out and didn't want to take Henry to the store. Then I took Henry to the Tuckett's house so Darrin could re-wrap the splint, as instructed, since it was put on super tight so the hard cast thing on the back could fit snugly  Then we went home to call my mom. Surprise for us, Dad came home early from work during a super busy day to be with us. Having him around calmed both of us down.

The blessing of this day are numerous. Living far away from my parents is sometimes hard for me emotionally. Especially when Henry is sick or hurt because my mom always knows what to do since she is a nurse. Having Matt's parents an hour away is also hard because we can't just run up the street to meet them. HOWEVER we have friends that have become like family in the short 17 months we have lived here. I mentioned Jessica's life saving moments already, but her love and texts really kept me calm. Another friend Kelli stopped by with a jar of delicious cookie ingredients that helped calm my sorrows as well as fed the missionaries for us. Our friends Jon and Megan Rowley brought over poppy seed caked along with love. Henry didn't want to eat anything all day, aside from this cake. Our friend Ashley and her kids stopped by with a frozen lasagna "in case we didn't feel like cooking." The whole Tuckett family cheered Henry up with their loves, brought over medicine, and calmed me down. Sister Haws even came again to see the patient and make sure that I was okay. There was so much love for us in such a small span of time. It might seem silly to some, but I needed it. 

Now for my confession. I felt like I broke Henry's leg. It was my fault for not letting him ride down the slide alone like a normal kid. It was my gigantor weight that probably snapped his bone when his foot got caught on the wall of the slide. It was my fault I couldn't calm him down and probably touched the broken spot of his leg a gazillion times trying to figure out what was wrong with his ankle. Ever since becoming a mother I have been afraid that Henry would have something wrong that I wouldn't be able to fix. I'm just glad I called the pediatrician when I did so we could get an afternoon appointment. This day ended up being a dark day for me even though it was so filled with love. I failed as a mother. I didn't protect my son. I broke his leg. I couldn't take his pain away. However, there is always a beam of light if we seek it. A comment from one of these friends reminded me of our Savior. He knows me and He knows Henry. He did not leave us alone. He has felt Henry's pain and my heart ache. He protects us and comforts us. I am so grateful for this knowledge and the comfort it brought. It reminded me that I did not break Henry's leg. We have physical bodies for a reason. We need to experience both happiness and sorrow to truly experience life.

My mom was so worried about us that she called and texted often to make sure we were being fed, rested, medicated, and loved. Shannon was in a car accident this same afternoon, luckily she and her chicks and rooster were okay. The car on the other hand was not. Henry's broken leg and my saddness seemed silly in comparision to a car accident with my pregnant sister. I know that my mom and dad wished they could split themselves in half and travel 846 miles in the blink of an eye to be in both places at once. Not a very fun day to be the parent or grandparent. If 13 was unlucky before, it is now!

That night, Henry couldn't sleep. I think the problem is that he is a belly sleeper and his splint was restricting his ability to roll over, as well as that it didn't support this leg properly when he was on his belly. So Henry and I slept on the rocking chair in the living room, waking up every hour to readjust or nurse or cry. Neither one of us were very happy when the sun came up.